Horatio doesn't really know him. It's not a comfortable fact, but he'll adjust. He and Horatio have learned one another before-- He suspects they'll manage even better, this time, now he knows him so well and Horatio himself seems a little freer with his emotions.
It's still something that hurts, if he thinks to let it, so he tries not to. Focuses instead on the discomfort of his leg (his phantom foot itches; it's a shame the nanites can't fix that.) Focuses instead on getting to know his new home a little better.
He's gone on a walk to the oxygen gardens and back. When he returns, there's a very familiar form standing there-- A man he thought most certainly dead and buried; knew it in the way he knew Horatio was his captain and he would always be there to follow him to the end.
There's a lot that's changed, when it comes to certainties these days. Because that's certainly Archie Kennedy, looking just as he did last William knew him alive, and there is something that aches in him at the sight of him.
"...Kennedy."
Saying his last name (he's been Archie so long, in the privacy of his mind) is a deliberate thing. He's trying to keep his acknowledgement of this ghost as distant as he can, until he can bear it.
(Horatio had said Archie was here. William should have known he'd never be ready.)
[ Archie is still exhausted. It had been a long night, which had followed after a long day of steadily increasing panic and despair. So today he's taking things quietly, putting on a brave a face he can so Horatio will worry less, and slowly exploring new parts of the ship.
He's trying to avoid thinking about how it is he's here at all, when he shouldn't be, when he hears his name said in an all too familiar voice. He spins on his heels, looking around for-- ]
Bush? Mr. Bush--
[ His eyes drop straight to the leg and he falters. That hadn't been there in Kingston. He's not sure what it means, but he tries to rally. ]
Horatio didn't tell me you were here, William. I'd have come to find you sooner.
[They'll both falter, then-- William's won't show on his face, quite so much, but they're both new to the empathy bond. Archie will likely catch at least the edges of the other man's grief, before William manages to master himself and unconsciously reels it in again.]
I only just saw him, myself, Mr. Ke-- Archie. [Speaking his name earns a lump in his throat. Swallowing gets the rest of the words out.] You're here.
[It feels, to him, like it must sound very much like you're alive. He can't help it. Can only hope the other man doesn't notice, because perhaps he doesn't know.]
I-- am. [ The question did that happen here dies on his lips as he has confirmation that William has only just arrived here as well.
Without his leg.
Archie isn't the smartest man in the Navy. That's never bothered him, as he's more than clever enough to get himself by. And more than clever enough when it comes to things which will hurt his friends.
Because William Bush knows.
Archie's surprise does show on his face, though he does his best to master the blank confusion and urge to deny it. He steps up closer to William and takes his arm, speaking with a quick and urgent whisper. ]
Will, you can't tell Horatio about Kingston. He doesn't know. Please.
[The touch to his arm is both grounding and disquieting, all at once. Grounding, because it means touching Archie Kennedy and feeling just how real, just how alive he is again. Disquieting, because he can feel rather than simply see Archie's surprise and concern.
William grips back at Archie's arm, and simply resigns himself to the way his pain-- At first just the chronic physical one, then the ache of seeing Archie alive, and then finally, at the whispered words, an absolute bleed of hurt.]
Archie. He doesn't even know me. [Which is much of the source of the torrent of sorrow, but not the whole of it.] I-- There's some things I told him of his future, before I properly realized, but-- Of course I'll not tell him about the worst loss in his life when he doesn't even know me well enough to let me help him through it, this time.
[There's flickers of other emotions-- anger and guilt, most of all-- but it all lives under the quiet grief etched into his face by the years and worries he's had to bear.]
[ Archie's more familiar with the emotion sharing than he had been even a day ago, but it still takes him time to realise that the the pain he's feeling isn't his. As he does, his hold on William's arm tightens. The realisation helps calm him, eyes widening in understanding. ]
I hadn't realised he was from even before...
[ But no. He hadn't asked, choosing to avoid the whole topic all together. His own troubles seem much less now, because at least both William and Horatio know him. If Horatio hadn't-- ]
[The shake of his head comes quickly, one shoulder lifting in a half-hearted shrug. Despite the continued closeness, he tries very hard, now, to rein in some of his wayward emotions; get himself back to his customary steadiness.]
It is what it is. [His smile is tired, and the exact pattern of exhaustion seems well-worn upon his face.] In all honesty, even from what little I saw of him, he seemed to be doing better here than I ever knew him to be. If we have to-- get to know one another, again, there are worse circumstances for us to find ourselves in.
[Assuming, of course, that Horatio would still want to get to know him here, once the shock of meeting him had worn off. There hardly seems a need, when he considers William a stranger & not even a commanding officer-- And besides. Archie's here.]
[ The words sound positive, even if Archie isn't sure that William means them all. He still keeps hold of the man's elbow, looking for signs in his face of how he's feeling. He's always found it harder to read Bush than Hornblower, and not just because he'd known Horatio longer.
But he resolves to do what he can to speed along the friendship. They really need each other, these two.
But before he can make the offer to do anything William needs of him, the issue of his recently arrival is brought up. It sets him ducking his head to look away. ]
Ah. Yes. I got here yesterday and promptly lost my head.
[William, certainly, would be glad for the help-- Though only if Horatio doesn't protest it. (He's very worried Horatio will protest it.)
The huff that escapes his lips is fond.]
He said nothing of that; only that you were here. Though I admit I was too concerned about whether or not you knew about-- Kingston to keep pressing him.
[AKA he had also done his own, quieter version of panicking.
A bit more softly:] I'm sure you acted no more irrationally than any of us coming from back home did. Especially given what you were-- leaving behind.
[ He can tell that Bush is trying to reassure him, but Archie is having very little of it. He huffs, shaking his head. ]
You and Horatio both think of me too kindly. I simply got caught up in the unfamiliarity of everything and let myself act selfishly and recklessly. I'm more than a little ashamed to think of it.
[ He can put a brave face on it now, at least. Like he's putting on a brave face about the growing realisation of what it means that he's here with a Horatio who's too early and a William who's too late. ]
But I'm here now, as are you and Horatio. Nothing to do but muddle our way forward.
[Selfishness, though? Selfishness is more complicated. One could perhaps argue towards a certain selfishness in the way Archie had died-- sometimes, in uncharitable moments, he does-- But any of that was far outshadowed by the selfless impact the act had had.]
We're good at muddling through, at the very least. It ought to make this-- easier.
[ That's more comforting, to hear reliable, solid William Bush suggest that things will turn out all right. Archie makes an effort and puts out a watery smile. ]
It's funny, I was just thinking earlier than I've really no idea what to do with myself here. Who'd have thought I'd miss the bloody French, eh?
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ad astra meetups!! who will cry first
It's still something that hurts, if he thinks to let it, so he tries not to. Focuses instead on the discomfort of his leg (his phantom foot itches; it's a shame the nanites can't fix that.) Focuses instead on getting to know his new home a little better.
He's gone on a walk to the oxygen gardens and back. When he returns, there's a very familiar form standing there-- A man he thought most certainly dead and buried; knew it in the way he knew Horatio was his captain and he would always be there to follow him to the end.
There's a lot that's changed, when it comes to certainties these days. Because that's certainly Archie Kennedy, looking just as he did last William knew him alive, and there is something that aches in him at the sight of him.
"...Kennedy."
Saying his last name (he's been Archie so long, in the privacy of his mind) is a deliberate thing. He's trying to keep his acknowledgement of this ghost as distant as he can, until he can bear it.
(Horatio had said Archie was here. William should have known he'd never be ready.)
Re: ad astra meetups!! who will cry first
He's trying to avoid thinking about how it is he's here at all, when he shouldn't be, when he hears his name said in an all too familiar voice. He spins on his heels, looking around for-- ]
Bush? Mr. Bush--
[ His eyes drop straight to the leg and he falters. That hadn't been there in Kingston. He's not sure what it means, but he tries to rally. ]
Horatio didn't tell me you were here, William. I'd have come to find you sooner.
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I only just saw him, myself, Mr. Ke-- Archie. [Speaking his name earns a lump in his throat. Swallowing gets the rest of the words out.] You're here.
[It feels, to him, like it must sound very much like you're alive. He can't help it. Can only hope the other man doesn't notice, because perhaps he doesn't know.]
no subject
Without his leg.
Archie isn't the smartest man in the Navy. That's never bothered him, as he's more than clever enough to get himself by. And more than clever enough when it comes to things which will hurt his friends.
Because William Bush knows.
Archie's surprise does show on his face, though he does his best to master the blank confusion and urge to deny it. He steps up closer to William and takes his arm, speaking with a quick and urgent whisper. ]
Will, you can't tell Horatio about Kingston. He doesn't know. Please.
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William grips back at Archie's arm, and simply resigns himself to the way his pain-- At first just the chronic physical one, then the ache of seeing Archie alive, and then finally, at the whispered words, an absolute bleed of hurt.]
Archie. He doesn't even know me. [Which is much of the source of the torrent of sorrow, but not the whole of it.] I-- There's some things I told him of his future, before I properly realized, but-- Of course I'll not tell him about the worst loss in his life when he doesn't even know me well enough to let me help him through it, this time.
[There's flickers of other emotions-- anger and guilt, most of all-- but it all lives under the quiet grief etched into his face by the years and worries he's had to bear.]
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I hadn't realised he was from even before...
[ But no. He hadn't asked, choosing to avoid the whole topic all together. His own troubles seem much less now, because at least both William and Horatio know him. If Horatio hadn't-- ]
Oh. I'm so sorry.
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It is what it is. [His smile is tired, and the exact pattern of exhaustion seems well-worn upon his face.] In all honesty, even from what little I saw of him, he seemed to be doing better here than I ever knew him to be. If we have to-- get to know one another, again, there are worse circumstances for us to find ourselves in.
[Assuming, of course, that Horatio would still want to get to know him here, once the shock of meeting him had worn off. There hardly seems a need, when he considers William a stranger & not even a commanding officer-- And besides. Archie's here.]
He-- mentioned that you'd also only just arrived?
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But he resolves to do what he can to speed along the friendship. They really need each other, these two.
But before he can make the offer to do anything William needs of him, the issue of his recently arrival is brought up. It sets him ducking his head to look away. ]
Ah. Yes. I got here yesterday and promptly lost my head.
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The huff that escapes his lips is fond.]
He said nothing of that; only that you were here. Though I admit I was too concerned about whether or not you knew about-- Kingston to keep pressing him.
[AKA he had also done his own, quieter version of panicking.
A bit more softly:] I'm sure you acted no more irrationally than any of us coming from back home did. Especially given what you were-- leaving behind.
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You and Horatio both think of me too kindly. I simply got caught up in the unfamiliarity of everything and let myself act selfishly and recklessly. I'm more than a little ashamed to think of it.
[ He can put a brave face on it now, at least. Like he's putting on a brave face about the growing realisation of what it means that he's here with a Horatio who's too early and a William who's too late. ]
But I'm here now, as are you and Horatio. Nothing to do but muddle our way forward.
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[Selfishness, though? Selfishness is more complicated. One could perhaps argue towards a certain selfishness in the way Archie had died-- sometimes, in uncharitable moments, he does-- But any of that was far outshadowed by the selfless impact the act had had.]
We're good at muddling through, at the very least. It ought to make this-- easier.
[He hopes, anyways.]
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It's funny, I was just thinking earlier than I've really no idea what to do with myself here. Who'd have thought I'd miss the bloody French, eh?
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[It's a very weak attempt at humor, but it's still an attempt.]
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Then it's good we've got you here. I know I can't imagine what I'd have done otherwise.
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Led him into yet another scrape, if he didn't lead you into one first.
[But also.]
He must be glad, to have you here.